Monday, August 05, 2013

Chavismo surprises us all with its mayoral candidates

UPDATED, already... I know, I know, I was going to cover as little as possible the upcoming election but the announcement of some of chavismo candidates cannot be ignored. It is at the same time a major blunder and yet a sleek political move. How so?

For his last reelection campaign Chavez did manage to attract some "stars" of Venezuela to entertain his crowds. Supposedly one of his daughters was into the move, using her daddy's fame, and money I suppose, to associate herself with some artists. Very socialist, indeed. It is of course well known that many artists are quite narcissistic and they simply cannot resist the allure of power, knowing a showman when they see one. But I digress (I am digressing a lot these days, by the way).

That was then, Mr. Venezuela 1996
At any rate, there is no way to measure the impact that attracting these artists had on Chavez reelection, but one thing is certain, their career has not being doing well since. Let's take the case of Winston Vallenilla, pumped up beef cake with the according cliche brain. After a career in RCTV and his crying like a baby over its closing in 2007, he wiped his tears and decided that money was in politics. But until he made the full switch, he was making a decent living promoting all sorts of products. Since last October I have stopped seeing his face in advertisements unless of a political nature.

This is now, still in fluff
The thing that these people do not understand is that the crowd that can be influenced into parting with good money is, well, opposition voter, middle class. Going over to chavismo can only land you ad revenue if you market cheap laundry detergent, which Vallenilla also did.  Still, this did not stop chavismo to send Vallenilla for the mayor position of Caracas-Baruta, the opposition bastion of Venezuela. I do not discard that Vallenilla may scratch a few votes here and there, but the crassness of the move may actually cost him more than what it gains. I will go on record that even if Vallenilla makes a super media campaign he will not pass 25% of the vote. And I am willing to bet less than 20%.

For Caracas-Sucre, which was supposed to be a chavismo bastion now lost for several elections in a row, the regime launches a former baseball player turned reggaeton artist. Of course, reggaeton is a favorite inside chavismo for its macho sexual context, and violence and vulgarity. Thus "El Potro Alvarez" has a chance to make some inroads against the successful work of outgoing mayor Ocariz, in spite of all the sabotage he suffered. But I doubt he will prevail and as is the case of Vallenilla it may be counter productive when people realize that El Potro is doing the race for the fun of it, not knowing shit about what it takes to run the possibly most difficult district to run in the whole of Venezuela. The days of your vote for a song may be over when you stand in line for food. Still, for the interested reader Panorama has an "artistic profile" of Antonio Alvarez, "El Potro".

Ready for Maracaibo A.C. freeze
But chavismo has more than entertainers to tap on. There are also journalists that act as entertainers and as such can be thrown to run for mayor.  Let's start by the surprising choice for Maracaibo, Perez Pirela, or Pispireto Pirela  as I used to call him. The guy presents himself as a "philosopher" I kid you not!  But watch his evening show in VTV to know that he is from the school of those philosophers that saw nothing wrong with Hitler or Stalin. He came to fame in the pages of this blog through a particularly hallucinatory conspiracy where supposedly cover agents inside Venezuela were receiving their cues from the cross words of Ultimas Noticias.

A couple of days ago we were on the expectation that Perez Pirela would be named information minister, allowing us to get finally a true Goebbels in that position. This because its current holder and former journalist, Ernesto Villegas, was launched for Caracas at large mayor. Instead, nepotism being rampant, it is the sister of Caracas mayor that got the job.  His handicap there is different, besides his absolute lack of charisma: he is running for a job that chavismo has spent 5 years downgrading. Zero credibility in his run.....

So, you may think, why is chavismo sending a whole set of folks that are going to crash (amen of those that will not be allowed to stand for reelection as the mayor of Barquisimeto who is been exchanged for yet another military lout)?  Isn't that counterproductive?  And that is where the sleekness of the move comes.

Indeed, all of the above have very little chance to win their seat even in the best of times. BUT! they will make people talk a lot during the campaign and they can be used to hide a whole bunch of other things. In particular what the regime has in mind is to hide the fact that no primary elections were held for its mayoral candidates, contrary to the opposition. Sending a few stars to the scaffold is, in my book, the best way to hide the apparatchiks that chavismo is going to try to place elsewhere more discretely, in positions that may actually be won. A "gatopardian" image for "change" when in fact nothing much will. Though the list of no run is impressive in its own right, when besides Amalia given the boot in Barquisimeto, we have Di Martino, Ojeda, and others like Mendoza in Guaicaipuro that are going to be no shows. This is also hidden by the Vallenilla combo hoopla.

UPDATE: El Nacional comes up with more confirmation of the mickeymouseness of these "appointments": at least three of the candidates do not vote in the district they pretend to represent. And for Perez Pirela it is worse since he votes in Chacao-Caracas.... one hour airplane from Maracaibo.


  1. Charly3:27 PM

    The more healthy response to this circus was from Diosa canales. She got disgusted to the point of wishing to run herself, no waste of propaganda money, her naked body would suffice. I never had much time for the queen of "ass and boob" but her comments put her apart from the rest of the "artistic" scene, so I am ready to have a second look (no pun intended).

    Trucutu? Truducu?

    1. Trucutu is a neanderthalian cave man of Sunday comics old style. I forgot his name in English but in Venezuela he was Trucutú.

  2. Anonymous3:47 AM

    Alley Oop was the name in English

    1. Can't be. AO speaks English. Trucutú couldn't. ;-)
      I must be neanderthal. For I remember the Trucutú comiquitas as being a little more primitive than what is produced today.

  3. Chavista's will be counting your votes, so they might win everything

    1. Right. Might as well go to the beach on election day.


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