What to do with 5 submarines? Attack Mercosur?

So, as usual, Chavez announces some monstrosity (buying 9 Russian submarines), generates some brouhaha, and then settles for less (5 Russian submarines), the less being equally unacceptable. However, since Chavez seemed to back down, the good people think that all is fine.

What in hell is Venezuela going to do with 5 Russian submarines? Does any one seriously imagine that 5 Russian submarines, with 4 missiles each that can reach 250 miles target (if well managed, something that I truly think the Venezuelan Navy is unable to do) can stop a US invasion to Venezuela?

Give me a f*****g break!

But ever helpful I can suggest some usages for the submarines.

One could be sent to the Valencia lake where it could be used to rescue the bodies of the Venezuelan Air force pilots who crash there on occasion. I suppose that Russian submarines will be particularly well suited to rescue Russian Sukhoi planes.

One could be kept in Vargas where it could be used to rescue stranded tourists whenever a rain stronger than usual closes down all the roads.

And of course the other 3, if they indeed work, could be used for drug smuggling, say, to Cuba. Heck, they could even get close to the Colombian coast to save on shipping costs by avoiding the Venezuelan detour. They are super silent, you know....

Or there is yet another use: sink all those capitalist ships carrying trade between Mercosur and the evil Empire (the one in DC, not the other one dead long ago...). Chavez announced today that he was not above withdrawing his petition to join the Mercosur. Apparently he just found out that it was a capitalist nest, full of greed and unfair competition. It seems that he will not apologize for having insulted the Brazilian Senate, where many a senator got more votes than Chavez gets in Venezuela, even with fraudulent elections.

But who cares really? It was Chavez decision, and his alone, to go to the Mercosur. Why should it not be his decision, and his alone to withdraw his request? For those new to the game, it has been years that there is no more Venezuelan foreign policy, just a Chavez foreign policy. I am sure that Belarus, Cuba and Russia will be much better trading partners to Venezuela than the Mercosur. It is very logic, look at any map of the world. And for good measure you can add North Korea and Zimbabwe and set a new trading model. Trading in repressive measures and weapons, that is.


-The end-