Saturday, January 24, 2009

Recipe for the NO

Miro Popic, the famed Venezuelan food and travel guides, is the food writer of Tal Cual. Today he publishes a column with one of the best cases presented so far as to why we need to vote NO. My translation:

Do we seem to eat better today than before? No.

Is food cheaper? No.

Is everything in the grocery store cart? No.

Do you find easily all that your family wants to eat? No.

Is there sugar? No.

Do you find coffee easily? No.

Do you like Brazilian chicken? No.

Do you find the rice you like? No.

Would you like to eat the same thing every day? No.

Do you believe that a ration book is the solution? No.

Are you willing to amend the diet indefinitely just because someone decided to do so? No.

Do you think that eating well is bad? No.

Do you think that starvation is good? No.

If you like Scotch 18 years, are willing to accept Cocuy of Penca as replacement? No.

And if you like Cocuy of Penca, are you prepared for some else to decide what should you drink? No.

If you ask in a restaurant for a well done steak and they bring it roja rojita (bleeding red), do you eat it? No.

If you ask for the check and they bring you the one from next table, do you pay it? No.

Do you think we should stop eating pan de jamon because wheat is exogenous and ham from Europe? No.

Have you ever had chicken stew from a vertical chicken coop (gallinero vertical)? No.

Does anyone know where the ruta de la empanada is? No.

Are you racist because they like black beans? No.

Are you a coup monger because you like your tres golpes (slang for three daily meals)? No.

Do you think that Mercal is better than Gama (the best private grocery store chain in Caracas)? No.

Have you found lentil at the regulated prices? No.

Would you like to change the name of the Pabellon for Congrí or Moros y Cristianos (equivalent in Cuba of the Pabellon, our national black beans and rice dish)? No.

Is not it true that white rice is ADECO (AD color is white on the ballot)? No.

If we are such friends of Iran, why don't we get Iranian caviar? I do not know.

Do you want Chacumbele to eat papaya comfit in case his life aspiration is not denied? Surely not.

Do you know what is eaten in the barracks? No.

And in jail? Even less.

Would you like to grocery shop with a ration card? No.

Do you like to be mislead about the food you buy? No.

Such as getting low cuts instead of Prime Rib? No.

Do you believe that we can survive if we do not vote No? No.

Would you like to eat something like "meat esmechada" made with banana shells as in Cuba? No.

Would you like to eat hallacas next December? Yes

Then vote NO.

-The end-

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