Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Chavez's lumpen show from Havana

Eventually the regime released a video of a Chavez chatting amiably with Castro, in some garden of Havana, kids included, mentioning the "fresh" Havana morning.  Abscess has turned the man bucolic...

And yet there is plenty wrong with that picture.  Oh no, no conspiracy theory here, the man is alive and recovering.  My objection is elsewhere.

First if Chavez is doing so well, why not make a direct link?  After all, CNN has accustomed us to Skype for many of its internal reports, and have we not recently installed (and payed for) an optic cable between Cuba and Venezuela?  I saw Chavez sitting quite well to talk to Castro, so whatever is eating his crotch would not stop him to seat for a few minutes in front of a web Cam.  No?

Second, why that need by VTV creeps to underline that they have in hand a recent edition of Granma?  I am sure it is not because Castro and Chavez read that rag for real news.  No?

Third, why all that mystery since now everybody knows that Chavez was really ill, and everybody knows really well that one does not stay away for so long from work unless one cannot help it.  Even Pepe Mujica in Uruguay chimed in saying that Castro kidnapped Chavez to make sure he would follow his "treatment".  Is Pepe mocking us from having become such a pathetic Cuban colony or does he really mean this insult to Venezuela's sovereignty?

The real reason is very simple:

1- the regime and his beloved leader have set their feet in the quicksand of misinformation and silly image protection at all cost.  The weave is now so thick that they need to hire reliable allies like ex-tupamaro Mujica to help them yarn the tale.

2- the intended audience is of course the chavista lumpen who has no idea of what Skype can do.  They are the ones that need to be reassured, herded from afar, with cheap theatrics and slow suspense, just like a telenovela.  And of course it is an insult to the intelligence of anyone else....


  1. Boludo Tejano6:22 PM

    Like they say, "Cuéntame otro de vaquieros."

  2. Boludo Tejano6:23 PM

    That would be "Vaqueros."

  3. "En el video, titulado “Encuentro Fraternal entre Chávez y Fidel”, se muestra a ambos líderes conversando de pie en unos jardines, así como en una sala, cómodamente sentados, junto a una de las hijas del mandatario nacional."

    Obama: "Damn! We had to call off the Drone attack with a Daisy Bunker-Buster smart bomb to pulverize those 2 scoundrels. They are using the same Al Quaeda technique: innocent citizens as human shields!"

    Seriously now, here's a couple other theories:

    B/ Only available in Habana, the ultimate Vodoo snake-hypnotizing technique: Ancient tropical chants which immobilize both the huge "solitaria" worm on Chavez's bloated belly, and the head snake itself. Then, hopefully, they are able to kill one of the 2 beasts.

    Or.. Chavez esta cagao.. y necesita una vacacioncitas tomando juguito e tamarindo pa combatir a los parasitos de miraflores.. La arepa nacional bolivariana estaba saliendo chimba, y la Polar le mando unas cajas adulteradas.. Lo estaban envenenando aqui, entre los Cisneros, los Pocaterra, y otros pitiyanquis: Salio volando pa Cuba con un solo peo y sin avion!

  4. On the minute mark 3:20 of the latest video you can see how they bring a Chair (an office style chair) with wheels, and they later take it out, as if someone told them, Not yet, not yet... and they retire the chair, later on you see the chair is for Castro, cause he is seating on it. By the way, if someone looks really really bad here is Castro, he seems to be lost.. my god, when is he going to take off...! and Chaves Daughter, whoms affraid of reading the news paper loud..!mmm i guess the girls are not really in to reading.

    PD: mi dad used to take Qhemotherapi at Jacson memorial during the weekend and work on Monday..! so no surprise there with Chavez..! Now the question is if he is doing Fine, why not come back now.?

  5. More analisys of the last Video..!
    On the first second of the Video, when chavez is walking so salute Castro, you can se a glimpse of the whell chair,,,,, this is confirmation there is an actual Wheel chair..! how can they let that one go...! You actually have to stop the video to see it.

  6. RabbiBulla4:39 AM

    Daniel, I simply believe that people are not awake. Certainly not informed.
    This horrible joke of a video seems very fake and insulting.
    Maybe the message is -there is no more Venezuela- so why celebrate-there is Cubazuela-lest someone forgets Chavez's words "Cuba and Venezuela" are one country- and everyone acts so mesmerized, hypnotized by Chavez-I have been urging for years people and Press
    here and in Venezuela to WAKE UP-
    WAKE UP-the war is over- we lost-but BUT-if IF everyone wakes up
    we can chase those scoundrels out
    and get the country back...
    I still believe Chavez was never
    sick-this is a trick...

  7. last anonymous9:38 AM

    What few people know is that Cuba is famous for having the best taxidermists in the western hemisphere.

    Fidel mistakenly went to Europe to have his work done, and now look at the result.

    Hugo learned a valuable lesson from his dead communist friend.

  8. Abscess has turned the man bucolic...

    Or is that, Abscess makes the fat man fonder? ;)

  9. Boludo Tejano8:28 PM

    Or is that, Abscess makes the fat man fonder?

    Good one. Inspired by your wit: Abscess makes the fat man founder?

  10. jupiter99:54 PM

    He looks as yellow as a lemon. Maybe it is his liver failing.

  11. Even better, Tejano! Though I first read it as "Abscess makes the fat man flounder," which kind of works too.


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