Friday, October 07, 2011

Welcome to the Bolibanana Republic of Venezuela

The proud flag of the Bolibanana Republic of Venezuela
Long time readers of this blog might remember that on occasion I have qualified the Chavez regime as a reactionary regime.  In Venezuelan standards a reactionary regime means looking back at our military past of caudillos who imposed their will at, well, will.  This vision of a past that was never quite what the reactionaries of today think it was, but it includes a mythical Arcadia of coffee, cocoa and banana plantations that kept everyone happy.  Needless to say that even if that vision had a kernel of reality, it was applied to a country which did not reach the 2 million people and such a vision could not satisfy today's country of 30 million people, while being possibly the most urbanized of Latin America.

Well, I was wrong in stressing that the military caudillo was the motor of the reaction: it has now an agrarian component, when our beloved bloated leader wants us to become a banana plantation for Russia, a reactionary tzarist empire in the making if you ask me.

I am not making this up: Chavez himself yesterday announced that the lands that were unjustly and illegally seized in the Sur del Lago region last year will be given to a "mixed" company between Russia and Venezuela to grow Banana, or musaceae as more diplomatically the regime's radio writes.

Now, let's be clear about one thing: there is nothing wrong about a country exporting bananas, and coffee, and cocuy de penca, and other agricultural stuff, as long as this is done willingly between the buyer and the local peasants who organize themselves into exporting cooperatives.  Or some scheme like that, well integrated in an agricultural policy to produce in excess what the country can, to be able to import what the country cannot produce.

But what Chavez has done is a whole different story.  He took away from its legitimate owners lands that were productive, even very productive.  These lands had variety of production, from plantain to cattle.  And Chavez wants to transform them into a monoculture system of banana production for the benefit of Russia.  Let's not even start on the ecological impact of such a monoculture on a sensible area such as Sur del Lago.....

13 years of chavismo and we are back to a past that we never quite had because Venezuela was never quite the Banana Republic of caricature even if our president-caudillos played the part quite well.  I suppose we should give credit to Chavez, for finally making it all the way through by coherently uniting banana's republic form of governance with its form of economy.

PS: needless to say that a pauper Sur del Lago with Russians looking the other way will become an excellent place for drug trafficking and FARC refuges.  Forward the narcostate!


  1. Anonymous1:16 PM

    Now I'm beginning to understand:

  2. 1979 Boat People1:25 PM

    Never heard the Russian like banana that much before. These banana may end up in EU super- markets instead.

    Btw, nice flag.:)

  3. Venezuela will now truly become a banana republic, with a monkey at its helm and the Russians holding the leash.

  4. Anonymous3:23 PM

    I don't buy it. The Russians investing in a banana production plant? No way. There has to be a hidden agenda.

    E.g., having a presence in this rather strategically important area, speaking in military terms, as a counteraction to the USA's presence in Colombia, everything would make sense, particularly if little by little a military base appears, in the midst of the banana trees.

    Could be a Cuba type crisis in the making.


  5. RabbiBulla6:37 PM

    The part about the "banana plantation" -is just a FRONT-get it.Plain and simple. No fool would invest in bananas to be shipped half way around the world.
    Chavez sells b.s. again..
    This is about weapons, military.
    What good does it do anyone to talk about bananas?

  6. Flowers, bananas, vodka, missiles, petrodolars.. the Russians must be loving all of it! The only thing Venezuela and Russia truly share are beautiful women. The rest is high scale theft and corruption, of course.

  7. Charly7:43 PM

    And now after we have had el Pollo Sabroso, el Pollo graduado and others, Chavez is introducing "el Pollo Patriotico". Let's hope it's good.

  8. RabbiBulla9:20 PM

    Doesn't anyone ask "Is this the
    future we want?"
    Don't people understand this is an economic nightmare disaster, follow this path with Chavez and all ends in Hell, really.
    Wake up!
    There are so many great projects and business opportunities just waiting for Venezuela-but none NONE involve Russians, Iranians,and Cubans and none are coming from Chavez.

    What future with Chavez, people?

  9. RabbiBulla9:53 PM

    Don't laugh-Chavez wants Venezuelans to get down andlick the Russians boots. ANd, the Iranians,and the Chinese. You don't just have to lick Chavez's boots anymore-meet your new masters.
    Who cares about democracy-down on
    your knees.
    Chavez will continue to "play upon" you and you-and you..
    Are you blind?
    It is not funny-how can chavistas
    love "mi commandante"-I ask myself
    -no-I know-they are nuts.

  10. Anonymous2:05 PM

    Oh, you'll see that in a year, they will be singing :"Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today."

    Pelao Manrique


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