Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Watery lies leave yours truly discombobulated as to Mars invaded by alien capitalists...

[UPDATED] Back at the ranch after a week end obsessing about Libya I must put up with Chavez starting the week with two, TWO, noon cadenasThe one that just ended deserves reporting.

First, in what Chavez announces as a grand gesture to solve the water problems of Caracas, he started giving away a few plastic containers to some homes.  Fine, you might say, but he also announces that his objective is that a water truck shall come every week for deliveries.  In other words Chavez is describing us the future rationing of water because now, even if his un-waterlogged plan were to work, a family will need to learn to live, laundry and all, with 1,500 liters of water a week,  That is less than 400 gallons a week, toilet, laundry, drinking, cooking, moping, showering, etc.....  Divide that by, say, 6 and each family member has less than 80 gallons a week for all their needs.  And imagine the fleet of trucks required to deliver 400 gallons per home per week, in a country where inefficiency, corruption and incompetence are the norm. There you have it, official rationing of water, even as he announces the completion, some day soon, I swear, no kidding now, trust me this time, you´ll see of a new aqueduct system that was scheduled to be done 10 years ago.  Why the delay?  Do not hold your breath waiting for the explanation, rationing is so much more a socialist approach to life!
Water trucks and scarves........

At any rate yours truly found particularly offensive that Jacqueline Farias, the Caracas gauleiter, attended the inauguration of plastic tubs in popular areas with an obscene and useless scarf of expensive nature, showing that she does not have laundry problems.  What is it with Chavez cachifas that they all love to wear scarves as expensive as possible?

But since you have been very good readers I left the best for the end: Chavez speculation on how capitalism and imperialism ended civilization on Mars!  I kid you know, watch the video below.

My translation below from sec 16  to sec 32:

"In Mars I always said, heard, It would not be strange that in Mars there had been civilization.  [pause for effect] But likely capitalism arrived there, imperialism came, and there were done with that planet"

And this after he apparently stated that no water has been found in the Solar System except for a little vapor "vaporcito" on Mars.......  All my Scientific American collection is committing suicide as I type......

Should we be surprised about such idiocy coming from a man who states confidently that Humans have been around for only 25 centuries?  Heck, I am even re-posting that video!!!!

We are ruled by a true ignoramus who thinks he knows it all......  But the worse of the lot is not him, it is the people unwilling to correct him......  Would you ever work for such a brutish boss?

UPDATE.  Well, it looks like our Martian Socialist Chronicles  has managed to unify the anti Chavez blogosphere, including even reluctant places like the Huffington Post (pathetic defenders included according to JC).  Besides this post, you can read Miguel's Venusian take, CCS's medical sarcasm, Fausta's what the F?, Gustavo's deadly serious pessimism, El Chigüire illustrated history of Bolivarian Mars (note how they added music and Mars Beam to the video), Bruni came with a ditty, and even German folks were regaled by the news,  plus the National Post, etc, etc....?

Nice going Hugo!  Way to grab front pages!


  1. Last Anonymous8:47 PM

    Space Cadet first class Hugo C. the " space traveler " failed to tell us why capitalism has also wiped out life on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.

    Nevertheless, capitalism seems to be doing fairly well on Earth, in spite of the efforts of idiots like Hogo, Fidel, and a myriad of other dolts, all of whom by the way, should be sent into outer space asap.

    Who would have ever thought that Venezuela would have the first president that gave the world insight about the economic history of Mars?

  2. Anonymous9:03 PM

    One might argue that the main difference between a sane and a mentally insane person is the capacity to tell the difference between perceptions and thoughts.

    One thing is to see your neighbor kissing your wife, and a very different thing is to imagine that your wife is cheating on you because she just went to the neighbor's house "to borrow some garden tools".

    An insane person cannot differentiate between what he has actually perceived and what he has merely "thought" about. For him, his thoughts are reality, not merely possibilities of what reality might be.

    Chavez's insanity is quite evident in the fact that he shows absolutely no capacity to tell the difference between his perceptions and his thoughts. So the problem with him isn't so much that he's very ignorant (which he is), but that at this point he's isn't even capable of understanding that there should be a difference between the two concepts.

  3. damn you got it before i sent you the video!!!

    I am completeley astonished by the Mars thing...really.

  4. 1979 Boat People9:11 PM

    ...Would you ever work for such a brutish boss?

    Some would as your first picture shows. Oh btw, it looks like a bunch of FLEA MARKET swindlers surround a TURTLE dressed in Venezuelan flag.

    1,500 liters of water a week would be reduced to 1,000 liters by the time it reaches each home. In SOCIALIST counties, things just went missing when they are in high demand, you know.

  5. 1979 Boat People9:39 PM


    Castro says he resigned as Communist Party chief 5 years ago


    It is time for Fidel to start a NEW REVOLUTION on Mars. Hope he would meet Che up there.

  6. I found it telling that when he mentioned his theory that mars may have been destroyed by capitalism, that laughter came from the audience. Chavez did not share the laughter AT ALL, as though he really believes what he was saying might be a genuine possibility. Lunacy.

  7. Well,we have to look at this in a scholarly fashion. The idea that life on Mars was killed off by capitalism requires serious study, I am willing to bet that the US government would give out a multi-million dollar grant to study it.


  8. I'm really surprised that this attitude hasn't become an Internet meme yet.

    Hugo Chavez can do anything.

    He's an economist. He's an urban planner. He's a psychiatrist. He's an astronomer. Damn, he's even a singer. And all that without any studies.

    That's the funny part. The sad part is that some people still buy it.

  9. Off Topic, but hilarious:


    No le cumple ni a los panas. Que tal!

    Chavez FAIL (Ya perdi la cuenta.)

  10. Juan Cristobal2:11 AM

    Ha! I knew you wouldn't stay away from commenting on Mars Attacks! Too juicy.

  11. Anonymous2:29 AM

    In a country where torrential rains are a hazzard, one would tend to think that they would have designed a system to collect all that water and pipe it to wherever it is needed.

  12. Back to Libya for a second. This piece from a chavista "news" outlet shows the (lack of) quality of chavista journalism.

    Tajeldine, quien se encuentra en Trípoli, dijo que el FBI siempre está en la ciudad y cerca de la residencia del líder de la Revolución Libia

    It's not just that they make another claim that is simply based on ideology (it may well be true but its pretty clear this is just an assertion, not something they've verified), notice they blame "el FBI." I'm sure they meant the CIA, but the fact that they incorrectly identify the agency that the whole world knows shows how sloppy they are.

  13. Anonymous3:39 AM

    They say there's no one happier than the village idiot.
    Please remember there were many capitalists living satisfying lives on Mars.
    Then came the "Daleks" who said exterminate them.
    If you have doubts about this ask "Dr. Who".
    Time to re-write "The Martian Chronicles".
    Would make a good movie or series with Chavez as the Red Dalek.


  14. juan

    yeah, it looks like all of us are on the way to make it the post of the day. that or having to face the students sewing their mouths. there is stuff i cannot find in me words to use for a post....

  15. Juan Cristobal4:39 AM

    Re. the students... the things people will do for publicity!

  16. Anonymous7:04 AM

    Mars was finally taken over in a blodless coup some 3000 years ago by the the red leader of the USPM (United Socialist Party of Mars). Water, once plentiful on the planet, was soon rationed in an attempt to control the restless population. Water eventually disappeared amid claims of corruption. Some Martians tried to emigrate (a group of would be immigrants were seen on Earth, in New York, on October 30 1938, but were not granted political asylum by the imperialists). Nothing more was said of the demise of Martian civilization until yesterday, when Chavez...


  17. The assertions are based on Aristotelian reasoning! First, the observer looks at the earth, and observes that Cuba, Zimbabwe, Belorus, Romania, Bulgaria and other analogous places are in a situation of extended disaster.

    Obviously, capitalism destroyed these places, as can be ascertained by the psychologically attractive scientific priciple that "la culpa tienes tu."

    Observe other places in the solar system which have economies as vital as the above-named countries:
    Mars obviously, and maybe Pluto.

    Scientific conclusion:
    Go on TV and tell the world!

  18. The scarf?

    Well, I come from a family that actually wrapped a dying puppy in a 1000 dollar Hermes scarf that was given to us by a French friend, just to keep him cozy and make it easier to hold him...needless to say we value life over fashion.

    Generally however scarves are bizarre in the tropics.I notice that scarves are used even in the heat by some women who pretend to be sophisticated, and also by older beauties who are trying to hide an aging neck.

    Vaya! First you publish some lovely paragraphs on Space, and then Chavez tunes into the same space wavelength in his own way :)

    Well we each have our own ways of projecting our humanity onto the unknown of space.You have your way, my Astronomer grandfather had his, my painter friend has hers, I have my own questing way of enjoying it, etc etc, and Chavez with his PC form of using it for political gain, as he plays his audience( paranoids, fearful ones, and/ or the uneducated) like a fiddle.

    The plot gets more and more eccentric.

  19. I'm thinking we should get Danny Glover, Sean Penn and a few other PSF's and send them to Mars to verify Chavez' claim. On their way, they could check in on our satellite and switch out some batteries and such.

    What say you? MARTE-POTAZO !!

  20. Daniel, si me he podido reir con el título del post.

    Aquí un artículo del National Post:


  21. 1979 Boat People5:47 AM

    Even CBC radio Canada mentions it today.

  22. ConsDemo, maybe that FBI is the Frente Bolivariano Internacional. You know, putting themselves at risk to bravely show their solidarity with their Libyan brothers.

    It's no more far-fetched than socialism on Mars. :D

  23. Anonymous5:38 PM

    Bueno Mon Cher, tanto Chavez como tu estan equivocados, no fue el capitalismo que destruyo Marte, fue el SANTO!!



  24. Daniel, as a second thought I think that the title of the post is incorrect.

    It should be "the earth was invaded by capitalistic martians" as the very scientific Chavez's thesis is that
    Capitalists destroyed Planet Mars and ended up here...jajaja..still LOL.

    Read the letter of the song in my short post. It reminds me of that.

  25. www.ninme.com10:51 AM

    Mars Needs Venture Capitalist Women!


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